Welcome to The Three Broomsticks’ most NSFW episode to date, where Irvin, Sierra, Sophia, and a returning special guest, Leah, have the best time combing the Harry Potter series for the best pick-up lines and innuendo. What else did you think they would do for episode 69? Our youngest listeners might need to skip this one.
In this episode:
- Does Hermione make deliberate innuendos or unintentional ones?
- Sierra teaches us some new slang
- Would serious Quidditch players use the school brooms?
- “Sir Cadogan is a d***-swinger if I ever saw one”
- Percy’s love life is the reason Ginny gets possessed
- Myrtle/mermaid/Cedric throuple – our new OTP!
- Where are the twins’ boils?
- Harry is a boobs guy
- Why did Ron want to see Uranus?
- The safe word is “peacock”
Pub’s Jukebox: Slytherin Weekend by Swish and Flick
And here was me thinking the nostril-measuring was to ensure kids wouldn’t get their new wands stuck up their noses…
—
Ironically, teachers trying to be coy about things often leads to worse innuendoes, whereas being matter-of-fact can put any embarrassment back onto the students.
—
Hermione’s first time may have been loud and/or boisterous, but it definitely involved several pages of notes and diagrams. Probably with colour-coding.
Oh my god, the amount of reading and studying Hermione would have done for her first time would be tremendous! Cross-references textbooks, flash cards, the works!
A (shockingly old) relevant fanfic on the topic:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/830036
That was a fun read!